RURAL RECTAL RAMPAGE

Listen on Apple
Listen on Spotify

Chipping Norton. A postcard-perfect Cotswolds village in the UK. But in 2023, its charm cracked. Shops reported everyday items, all phallic in shape, defaced with a chilling label: β€œFOR RECTAL USE ONLY.”

Something is festering beneath the surface of this quiet village, a secret waiting to be exposed. The investigation begins, and what’s coming is disturbingly unexplainable.

RRR is a four part series. All episodes are available now.

WHEN THE COPS SAY NO, WE SAY YES

WHEN THE COPS SAY NO, WE SAY YES

Listen on Spotify
Listen on Apple

When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes is the world’s first speed solving detective agency. Join us as we attempt to solve real non-crime crimes submitted by YOU, our precious listeners. We have 24 hours to crack each case because time is money.

Episodes drop every two weeks.

Season 3 Trailer

THE CASE OF THE TINY SUIT/CASE

Season 2

An award winning* podcast involving a tiny suit, a sinister suitcase and three unqualified detectives.

Listen Now

*once we get one

SEASON 2 TRAILER

This season the three unqualified detectives take on a brand new mystery set in Sweden called The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case. Being specialists in β€œnon-crime crimes”, their selection criteria for new cases is simple: β€œAnything the police laugh at is a case for us.” And the new sinister Swedish case fits this brief.

WHO SHAT ON THE FLOOR AT MY WEDDING?

Season 1

An award winning* podcast involving two brides, one turd and one unqualified detective.

Listen Now

*bronze

Listen now

MIL_6259.jpg

It was the perfect day

Until someone shat on the floor.

Karen Whitehouse and Helen McLaughlin got married on Saturday the 11th of August, 2018.

The mystery of the crime has been tormenting them ever since. They have to know who, out of their closest friends, family (or staff) were audacious enough to loosen their bowels… on the floor… on their special day.

Join the brides, Helen Mclaughlin and Karen Whitehouse, and the extremely under-qualified β€˜Detective’ Lauren Kilby, as they interrogate wedding guests, hook bridesmaids up to polygraph machines and speak with top forensic experts in an attempt to crack the case.

Listen to the trailer

Follow the chaos

Karen here. This is Helen and me at 5.32pm on our wedding day.  4 hours later, one of our closest friends or family shat on the floor.   Many of you know we turned this incident into a comedy podcast, but what you might not know is w
A suspect vanishes. A teenagent pyramid scheme explodes. Karen becomes a master stalker. Lauren interrogates like nobody’s listening. The puppet master finally emerges, with a motive that changes everything. And when the truth lands, we&rsquo
Karen here πŸ•΅οΈ‍♀️ OK. I’m going to admit something I never thought I’d say. After years of embracing how generally inept Lauren and I are as detectives… it turns out… we may have learned how to actually solve a crime o
Lauren here πŸ•΅οΈ‍♀️ I am not sure if the real police conduct interrogations from bed. But what the real police choose to do is not really my concern. I am unqualified, which grants me full freedom to interrogate suspects however I see fit. If tha
This case is spiralling, and so are we, driving us into fresh levels of inappropriateness: school stakeouts, teenagent recruitment, a divine intervention, and a demotion ceremony. Then out of nowhere, new information emerges. Is this a local crime&h
Hey peeps, our Unqualified Detectives’ Club is finally open on Patreon! Join us for 4.50 GBP (excl. VAT) per month. Link in bio. You won’t regret it* *not guaranteed
Chipping Norton. A quiet, postcard-perfect village in the Cotswolds, UK. Home to Karen and Helen. But in 2023, that perfect facade was shattered. Local stores began reporting something strange: everyday items, all phallic in shape, defaced with a chi
Karen here πŸ•΅οΈ‍♀️πŸ’₯ This is me having a bit of a meltdown 🫠 Because next week we’re opening a brand new three-part investigation called Rural Rectal Rampage. And it’s a case that quite frankly almost pushed me over the edge. Becaus
Joao/John, a beloved canine, reportedly died suddenly on the Champs-Élysées. RIP. His body was placed inside a large Louis Vuitton shopper bag, and, in a cruel twist of fate, stolen moments later by a thief on a moped. The circumstance
Karen here. This isn’t our usual type of post about faecal matter or dodgy sun bears or undercover clown pants, but we wanted to stop for a moment and say a huge, huge thank you to our precious listeners who have supported us on this journey so

β€œBelly laugh after belly laugh”

 

β€œLaughing out loud in the street, I don’t even care that people are staring”

β€œPure joy”

 

β€œBeyond ridiculous”